“To Lynne and her air conditioning!”
I gotta admit that this latest Vegas episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was a bit disappointing. We’ve had so many jaw-dropping, tense, and cringe-worthy installments that this one felt tame in comparison. First of all, the entire pre-Vegas portion of the show was a bit dull. I think the producers were going for some sort of thematic structure about parenting as we saw each house wife interact with either their parents or their children in some significant way: Jeana visited her fam in Wisconsin, Lynne chatted with her amusingly aghast mother, Vicki went shopping with her daughter, Tamra got drinks with her mom (and managed to yet again find some way to incorporate the fact that she was the hottest housewife into the conversation), and Gretchen observed as Jeff enjoyed time with his kids. There were some highlights here and there (such as when Brianna announced that she loved her job, but, you know, sometimes she gets into her car and CRIES afterwards), but overall, the first half of the show as dullsville.
Things spiced up for the second half when the producers wisely sent all the women off on a Vegas adventure, which kicked off unsurprisingly with Jeana bitching and moaning as she rolled out of the limo. Soon, Gretchen and Tamra were in their usual pissing contest over who was hotter (Gretchen had a leg up this go-around with her official “Hottie Whistle”), but the real excitement came courtesy of Lynne, who continues to be the unlikely hero of this season. She should be so awful, what with her terrible parenting and obsession with physical appearance, but I’m growing to love the way she absorbs all the passive-aggressive insults hurled at her (ahem, JEANA). One of these days she’s gonna snap and just go off on all these women, and it will be fantastic.
That being said, her inability to know whether or not she had air conditioning in her house was somewhat hilarious and baffling all at once. Methinks some rasta cabana boy must have slipped her a dime bag because bitch looked like she was ready to toast up some Ego waffles, turn on Matisyahu, and watch Planet Earth for the rest of the night. In stark contrast was Vicki, who was as hyper and insane as usual. When Gretchen announced that her favorite drink was a dirty martini with bleu cheese stuffed olives, you’d have thought she’d just sailed away in Vicki’s yacht. Vicki was appalled. That’s HER favorite drink! How could anyone else like Vicki’s signature drink? Fairly easily, if you ask me, but in a display that was straight out of kindergarten, Vicki complained that Gretchy was being a copycat. The horrors! I’m shocked Vicki hasn’t already written an angry letter to Julie Andrews: “Dear Ms. Von Trapp: It is widely known that raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are a few of MY favorite things; so please stop singing about them. I don’t appreciate copycats, and if you do not cease, I’ll have no other option but to take the matter up with my legal team. Sincerely, Victoria Gunvalson. p.s. this also applies to cream colored ponies, crisp apple streudel, doorbells, sleighbells, AND schnitzel with noodles.”
Anyway, onto the photocap…
“I feel honored to have a mother who can raise such a HOT daughter.”
“Oooh, I like this! It’s filling up my Scrub Tank!”
“Look, sweetie, it’s so cute! Don’t you like it? How about this: I buy you this cheap shirt, and you approve the yacht!”
“Honey, let me make this clear: if you don’t approve this yacht, you don’t get a taco.”
“Don, how could you ask me to make you a beef taco? You KNOW those are MY favorite. Don’t be a copycat.”
“It’s funny, Mom, but no one ever believes that I’m the daughter of Olympia Dukakis.”
“See? You have a shoulder right here.”
“I should add that this is the most intimate moment I’ve had in twenty-five years.”
“I love Las Vegas. The weather is so HOT â€â€Ã‚ like me! They should just rename is Las Tamra!”
Tamra: “They shouldn’t call this the Red Rock Casino. They should call it the Red HOT Casino because I’M here, and I’M SO HOT!”
“Hey Tamra  I have the hottie whistle! It says so on the side! That makes me the hottie!”
Tamra: “DIE.”
Tamra: “Come here, you! Let’s have a HOT hug! Because we’re both so HOT! Well, me more than you, but you’re hot too!”
Gretchen: “Whatever you say…”
“Wait, Vicki, how high are we counting again?”
“GRETCHEN, I’M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!”
“Hey Lynne, how’s the air conditioning in your house these days?”
“Hahaha… wait, what?”
“The air conditioning. The AC. The machine that makes the cold air.”
“Cuff love?”
“No, the– never mind..”
“I don’t know what air conditioning is, but it sounds fattening.”
“Jeana, don’t touch your ear. Don’t you know that’s MY favorite thing to do! You’re copying!!!”
What did you think about the episode?
This was really funny, B-Side! Especially the exchange between Gretchen and Lynne regarding the air conditioner.
I like Lynne, too. Out of all of these women, she would be the one who I would probably friend. But, COME ON! Who doesn’t know whether or not they have air conditioning, or even what an air conditioner does?? Vicki may be right about the fact that Lynne smoked a lot of weed back in the day. She is such a ditz! And I don’t like the way these bitches treat her, either. I agree with you, I look forward to the episode where Lynne rips into them.
And although I like Gretchen… I think she’s a hoot, and would be a blast to hang out with, I think she must be in denial about Jeff’s health. She obviously must not have thought that he was so close to death. I can’t imagine making this show a priority over spending time with him in what are obviously his last few months. It’s really painful to watch him. Just horrible~
Vicki going off about the STUPID FUCKING BLUE CHEESE STUFFED OLIVE MARTINI! Good Lord, Lady! How old are you? I remember in 9th grade… This girl named Jodi M——– use to show up at school with her hair styled exactly as I had worn mine the previous day. It use to make me mental, but I WAS FOURTEEN! I can’t believe how immature Vicki is. I wonder if her family is horrified by her behavior. If she were my Mom, I would schedule a psychiatric appointment for her. She is really out of hand, and seems to be losing it a little bit more with each season and episode.
Ok, haven’t even gotten to the photocap yet, the letter to “Mrs Von Trapp” from “Victoria Gunvalson” had me crying, seriously I think I might’ve peed my pants a little.
So funny and now I’m singing My Favorite Things! Thanks!!
You forgot to mention how many times Gretchen yelled out “Red is my favorite color” It was ridiculous
WTF Lynne? You don’t know if you have air conditioning. Really?? The women only has a couple of brain cells. I would really like to see her go off on some of these girls and their nasty comments. They are so mean to her.
I definately think Gretchen is in denial over Jeff’s health.
So funny and now I’m singing My Favorite Things! Thanks!!
You forgot to mention how many times Gretchen yelled out “Red is my favorite color” It was ridiculous
WTF Lynne? You don’t know if you have air conditioning. Really?? The women only has a couple of brain cells. I would really like to see her go off on some of these girls and their nasty comments. They are so mean to her.
I definately think Gretchen is in denial over Jeff’s health.
Dear Vickie-
Please pick an age and act it…
PS- Please pick an age OVER 5.
Sometimes I can’t believe what I’m seeing when I watch this show. I used to live out there in the gated community next to Coto (actually it was the community that Lauri lived in when she was previously married). Your Sound of Music comments cracked me up. I’m still laughing thinking about it.
I thought it was kinda sad when Jeana was visiting her family in Wisconsin. With the amount of money that Jeana has why had she not visited in five years especially since it sounds like her dad isn’t doing so well.
I’m speechless about Lynne and the whole air conditioning thing. What’s up with that? And then I can’t even discuss Vicki. If I could put my hands through the t.v. I would surely strangle her.
“What stays in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Lynne can’t even get the tag line right. ENABLER!
If Jenna would just buy and use the damn vibrator maybe she wouldn’t be eating all the time. Me Want Food.
hb
Lynne: “they don’t get to me. or maybe one day…I’LL JUST KILL ‘EM” all said with a i’m-not-all-here smile.
That was my favorite line from the whole episode. I can’t wait for the day when she slaughters them all during another “elegant dinner” all the while humming some lighthearted tune. and then when she’s finished, she’ll say “I wonder where all the ladies went?”
THIS is hilarious.
HOT hilarious.
Those moments with Jeana and her sister were downright awkward to watch. I agree – the entire episode was boring. Your photocap made it worth watching though!
I loved the photocap!
Lynne drives me crazy, I can’t stand her.
I feel bad for Gretchen, and think she is in some denial about Jeff. He really did look bad.
Jeana’s visit to her parents was somewhat sad.
After seeing the given photo I remembered my days with my sister.
The post is awesome . The explanation is too good. I really enjoyed this post.
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/6reasons-why-you-should-detoxify-your-body-using-a-colon-cleanse-supplement.html
Beautiful pose.