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I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you by who went home last night on Top Chef. I won’t say his or her name right here in case anyone hasn’t quite caught up with the show, but I will say that I think the only reason this person was sent packing was because the producers wanted to see how a certain uninteresting romantic storyline would play out with two other people.
Okay, I’ve probably said too much. Oh well. Seriously, if you haven’t seen the episode, just move forward to the photocap because I’m gonna talk about the show more in depth now.
Nevertheless, this farm-tacular episode was a pleasant romp through the sights and sounds of Westchester County, NY — a region I know well. The chefs went to the Blue Hill Farm restaurant where they picked fresh ingredients from the aforementioned farm and caroused with various pigs, cows, and chickens before heading back into the kitchen and whipping up a feast. Needless to say, several chefs floundered, but not, I’m happy to report, Carla who turned out the promised vegetarian dish in the form of a fruit tartlet. She got the highest marks from the judges, but alas, she could not claim sole victor of the episode because all that do-good communal farm mentality prompted the judges to name all three people on Carla’s team the winners. Lame hippies. JUST GIVE IT TO CARLA. Hootie hoo!
As for poor Ariane, who got the ax, I understood the reasoning behind her elimination: not being able to tie a roast is fairly unforgivable. However, at least she tried, and she took on the hardest and most central part of the meal. I suppose that could be seen as a negative, but really, Leah and Hosea seemed to have done nothing. And Ariane has proven that she can churn out high quality dishes (she did go on a tear with the victories, after all). Leah and Hosea have both been proficient, but ultimately uninspiring — generally tending toward the middle of the pack and playing it safe. Plus, Hosea has that awful goatee; so for that alone he should have been dropped. Oh well.
Onto the photocap…

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“Welcome… to JURASSIC FARM!”

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Jamie: “So… do you grow any scallops here?”

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Jamie: “I’m not sure if I can work without scallops. That being said, I deserve to win this.”

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Fabio: “If only my a-grandmother could a-see me now: two a-hundred years of a-smiling technique.”

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Ariane: “I guess I’ll smile for the camera. Iiii don’t know…”

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Fabio: “My a-grandmother — she a-taught me how to drive a tractor. Three a-hundred years of tractor experience…”

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“TWELVE A-THOUSAND YEARS OF TOMATO PICKING TECHNIQUE!!!”

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“I guess this could sorrrrt of look like a dildo.”

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“Hosea, I just don’t want our dishes to be bland… like our romance.”

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Tom: “One time Gail ate a block of Velveeta THIS big, and she didn’t even stop for water!”

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“And remember the time we filled her bathtub with bacon as a prank, but she wound up eating it all anyway? Bless her heart.”