According to Page Six, beer heiress / cookie plagiarizer Cindy McCain was in talks with producers of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars to be a contestant next season; however, her footloose and fancy free dreams were allegedly destroyed by hubby John for reasons yet to be announced. I suppose it probably has something to do with Cindy’s fragile body, which seems at times to verge on suffering from brittle bone disease. But then again, maybe John’s just fearful that Cindy might run off in the manly arms of Derek Hough.
It’s probably best that Cindy’s not on the show. I can just imagine how it would play out…
“Okay Cindy. Today we’ll be learning the Foxtrot.”
“OH REALLY? Is that what we’re really learning?”
“Or the Paso Doble. Or the Waltz. Or the Tango.”
“Lambada. The forbidden dance.”
“We can do that.”
“Cindy, this was all wrong from beginning to end. All you did was stand there like a stalled lorry and stare at Derek. You have to move your feet at least once.”
“OH REALLY?”
“I mean, it was very good. I liked it quite a bit.”
“Cindy, you are like a thousand stars circling the planets and all put in a jar that cannot be opened unless it is THROWN off a cliff at the end of the world!!!”
“OH REALLY? I don’t think so.”
“No, no. You are right. I’m very sorry. Please… just… stop staring at me.”
“I actually loved it!”
“That’s a good girl.”
“But you have to keep an eye out for your posture. You have a tendency to–“
“OOOHHHH REALLLLY???? I HAVE A TENDENCY TO DO WHAT????”
“Nothing. Nothing. You have a tendency to be spectacular.”
“You’re damn right. Now gimme my scores.”
Thanks to Jash for the heads up on the article.