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A shocking turn of events on Bromance! No, it’s not that Brody threw a hissy fit (albeit a fake one). It’s that Alex was eliminated, thus taking him out of the running to be America’s Next Top Sidekick. This was a surprise — at least to me — as Alex seemed like the one to beat. He seemed nice, grounded, and just muted enough to be the perfect second banana. However, when he failed to be honest to Brody during a prank concerning flamboyant jeans (dubbed “BJs”), his stock rapidly plunged. Personally, I felt this was somewhat unfair. Yeah, Alex didn’t man up and express how he truly felt about the jeans, but given the dynamic that Brody has created — one where these guys are actively seeking his approval — what else could the Brodester really expect but genuflection? Of course, not everyone kissed Brody’s ass. Femi was straight up honest and bashed the outfit, but I still wonder if his motivation stemmed more from fear of public humiliation or genuine concern for Brody’s reputation. Then again, does it really matter? No. No, it doesn’t.
The jeans foible was regrettable, but what really did Alex in was his inability to communicate with a super hot Playboy bunny. Instead of engaging in conversation, Alex pulled an electric guitar off the wall and blurted out some odd tune that sounded a bit like John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Dave Matthews all rolled into one. In other words, it was awkward. (One thing I learned upon moving to LA eight years ago: people don’t really like jam band sounds out here).
Well, one thing led to another, Alex was sent packing, and now we only have three contenders left. And guess what? Now we only have one episode left. That was quick. On to the photocap…

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“I want Brody to touch me here and here.”

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“Hmmm… yes… I do like these jeans. It’s so much easier for me to get into this position now!”

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“You know what, homie? If you’re not bro enough to support my bro jeans, then I don’t know what sort of bro you think you are. That being said, let’s fuck.”

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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Urges.

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“Wow. I’ve never seen a girl before! Do you have a penis too?”

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“Do you mind if I awkwardly hide behind my generic frat music?”

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“Wait a second. These guys are straight?”

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“Don’t get too excited, Chris. We’re contractually obligated to express interest in you. You know, like prostitutes.”

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“Oh man. Long day. I never want to spend that much time with a girl again.”

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“I love sushi rolls. And by ‘sushi rolls’ I mean Brody’s peen. There. I said it.”

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“Guys, let’s all DO IT on the mackerel.”

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“Now get the hell out of here.”