Between CBS.com’s slow posting schedule and my random trip to Vegas, I’ve been a bit behind with the Big Brother photocaps. That’s not to say I’m any less entertained with the show. In fact, Big Brother 10 has been on an absolute tear the past few weeks. It’s astounding how good this season has been. I’m almost sad that anyone has to even leave the house as the current configuration of characters has led to nothing but outrageous outbursts and nonsensical screaming, usually thanks to some dumb comment that’s been misinterpreted ten times over.
Take, for example, the big blowout between Keesha, Libra, April, and Michelle. It all stemmed from a joke that Libra made at a “feast” that the house guests had won. Whether you love Libra or hate her, you can’t deny that her joke was nothing more than just that  a joke. However, Michelle interpreted it as an attack on April and Keesha and perhaps the entire country. One thing led to another, and suddenly the lovey-dovey Feast of Dreams turned into an all out cat fight amongst the women. (Incidentally, the CBS show only showed a small portion of the silliness that transpired that night  which included, but was not limited to Michelle throwing pillows around the house and yelling at the top of her lungs.) It’s honestly a shame that Libra or Keesha have to leave this week because I fear these brawls will never be the same.
Meanwhile, the ladies weren’t the only ones making fools of themselves. Jerry ascended to the ranks of Sanctimonious Fool (an honor which seems to fall on at least one cast member every season). The old coot continued to go on and on about Dan hiding behind his cross, going so far as to call him “Judas” on multiple occasions. I don’t think you need me to articulate why this logic is so flawed, but I will anyway. Jerry seems to have forgotten how on week one of the competition, he blatantly broke his word to Brian  so much so that he had to remove all his military garb when doing so. How was this different from Dan’s actions. Jerry also noted how Dan vowed to give up his religion before betraying Jessie, but as far as I can tell, that deal was off the instance Jessie tried to get Dan nominated when Keisha was HOH. The point of this is that Jerry needs to shut his mouth (except for when he yells strange things like “BEEP BEEP!” “Hooonnnk!” or “SCREW YOU, PEOPLE!”)
Anyway, onto last night’s photocap…
“You know what? I fuckin’ hate this ceiling! I never should have given it my word.”
“I poured myself this cup of water, and I take full responsibility for it. Believe that.”
“And you know what else? I fuckin’ hate this fish tank behind me. Those fish are all so fuckin’ fake all the time. They’re probably fuckin’ talking shit about me right now, fuckers.”
“Look at my toe. It’s such a fuckin’ liar.”
“Announcing those nominations to yous was hahhd. I sweah, I almost crapped my undahwears.”
“Hey all yous. Gathah around. I got some new undahwears!”
“My name’s April, and I know how to handle a casual moment.”
“Comin’ through with food. Hooonnnk!”
“I’m so wicked tiyad. If I don’t get some rest soon, I’m gonna fall asleep in my undahwears.”
“This fork hides behind the cross. It’s a Judas fork. HOOONNNKK!!!”
“Just because Dan took off his cross doesn’t mean he can break his word. It’s totally arbitrary. And I can say this truthfully because I’m wearing my Marine hat.”
“I bet if Tawm Brady sawr my tank top, he’d say, ‘Check out that wicked crazy Portuguese chick.’ Yeah, he’d get a few idears…”
“This game is so great. It just makes me want to STAB ALL OF YOU IN THE NECK! Hahahaha.”
“There were so many onions in the Veto competition, my eyes were gushing watah. WATAH!!!”
“When I want to win something, I do whatever it takes to win  even if that means dressing up like Tweety Bird.”
No caption needed.
“BEEP! BEEP! I’m not wearing any military gear; so I can lie to all you people now!”
“I try to be nice to the onions. I really do. But I just can’t stand those motherfuckers! They’re always doubting me!”
“Hmmm… I wonder if Ollie will DO ME in the onion patch…”
“This is really gonna get in the way of my womanizing…”
“I didn’t win? Okay, now my feelings are hurt.”
“I’m not gonna hide behind my cross in this game. Only my military gear.”
“I want all of yous to look at my belly. See? No tan lines. That’s because when I tan, I don’t put on my undahwears.”
“Hey yous. Pass the WATAH before I punch yous in the kissah!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH!!! We’re feasting like Goldilocks. Like GoldiLOCKS!!!”
“I just want to say that I really like each and every one of you, and on that note, FUCK YOU ALL!”
“My name’s April, and I know how to handle a pleasant evening around the Lazy Susan.”
“Stawp! Stawp! I’m crappin’ my undahwears!”
“Let me just say something: when you took off your hat just now? That hurt my feelings. My feelings were hurt.”
“I wrote four times, and Oprah never responded not even ONCE! I don’t have to tell you how badly my feelings were hurt. I mean, I went to Rice MOTHERFUCKING University!”
“I just want you to know that I take full responsibility for this hug.”
“This has been a great chat and all, but April and I are scheduled to bone in the spa room; so I’m gonna get going.”
“All this fighting is about that dumb joke? Really? Well, then I apologize. I should have remembered that April is unstable, Keesha is psycho, and Michelle doesn’t understand comedy AT ALL.”
“I’ll say it again: I am not Milton Moorehead from Syosset, Lawng Island!”
“FUCK YOU, APRIL! You’ve been talking shit about me to the fish, and I KNOW IT!”
“I’M GONNA YELL BECAUSE ALL OF YOUS ARE YELLING TOO!”
“Wait a second. Are yous tellin’ me that there were pigs feet at the feast and none of yous bothahed to tell me?”
“I think tonight I’m gonna have Ollie DO ME upside down. Yeah. That sounds fun.”
“BEEP! BEEP! It’s time for me to get on my high horse!”
“Damn, I wish I could be screwing three girls right now.”
“Wow. Jerry’s speech was crazy. And that’s coming from ME. (And the voices in my head).”
I missed ya B-Side…
Totally didn’t catch the caption “She’s doing smart”….LOL
Also, as to the “she’s doing smart” comment, apparently Ollie agreed with Libra that an onion cut into big chunks weighs more than an onion cut into little chunks. He’s doing stupid!
You knocked this one out of the ballpark!
Every single time I see “undahwears”, I can’t help but snort. It’s become quite bothersome, seeing as how I read the photocaps at work.
B-Side, I’m in need in one of your flogs pretty soon. Please!
The full name Jerry has given Dan is as follows:
Bowllegged Judas Cock Sucker Mother Fucker.
Aren’t the feeds wonderful.
They just let it ALL hang out.
And CBS cut his POV speech to the socially acceptable parts. Jerry has become such an liability in the house there is no way CBS could put on TV what the idiot said. None of the contestants agreed with the shit that came out of his mouth and that is saying a bunch considering they can’t agree on much else.
this show is giving me brain fever or what we call in Austria … Kopfgeschlagen.
hb
I’m just going to throw it out there…I wish Shelia was a houseguest this season. Her and Renny going through menopause together would be classic.
Thanks for another great photocap! I hope you go back and do one for last Sunday’s show. I’d LOVE to see your captions on past houseguests during the “In The News” game!
That was good… good and redundant as always.
That was good. I mean that was good and redundant as always.
I liked when Dan screamed at us about the feast being a benefit dinner, mainly that it benefitted him that the girls got that drunk and blew that joke out of proportion.
Jerry was a total dick when Dan was trying to make peace with him. Although he is not a very convincing fake crier.
Great screencaps.
I hate Jerry so much, and miss Jesse so much.z
I hate Jerry too. I know it’s ageist, but I can’t stand it when elderly people use crass language (except maybe Rodney Dangerfield, and Betty White). Plus, he’s a bully. His voice sounds like a foghorn – someone please tow his ass out of there!
Michelle reminds me of Rachel Dratch and Jimmy Fallon’s Boston teen SNL skits – You’re a retahd! No you ahhh!
Anyway – AWESOME screen caps, as always!!!!
super job as usual…I always slide on over to your site to catch your latest photo diatribes and you didn’t ket me down! Keep up the great work!
a fan,
rod
Fantastic blog you have here. So many sites like yours cover subjects that arent found in magazines. I dont understand how we got by twelve decades ago with just newspapers and magazines.