It’s Sunday night, which means after an interminable two day wait, CBS has blessed us with another episode of Big Brother. There wasn’t anything particularly stunning about this latest installment, but it was fun and funny all the same  culminating in two laugh-out-loud segments focusing on first April’s “pet” poodle Polly and then on Ollie’s strange phobia of birds. The latter scene provided us with another golden nugget from Michelle, who noted that Ollie would have been screwed in the age of “dinosaahhs” as a pterodactyl would have most certainly swooped down and ate him. You know what else would have been terrifying? THE DINOSAURS.
Nevertheless, this first episode of Renny’s reign featured all too little frantic screaming from her. In fact, the best we got was some strange wheezing, but I don’t feel comfortable really making fun of that as it came in response to her seeing pictures of her deceased parents. Even Keesha kept her shrieking to a minimum, eschewing her weekly meltdown in favor of quiet googly eyes towards Memphis. Speaking of whom, Memphis has quietly positioned himself perfectly with all alliances in the house. Everyone seems to like him, but make no mistake about it: he’s still on everyone’s radar, especially after he won that car (whose prices seems to escalate every week) back on week one. If April goes this week, look for the target to go back on him (assuming it doesn’t land on Renny and Keesha). Also, note the way Michelle has so quickly and deftly distanced herself from Jerry, Ollie, and April. Wasn’t it just a week ago that they were all buddy-buddy? She may be crazy/Portuguese (much in the same way that Renny is a Babe/Mom), but she seems to know what she’s doing.
Anyway, onto the photocap…
“Yay! I’m so happy I could just STAB YOU ALL IN THE EYE!!!”
“It’s not that bad? Do you even REALIZE that there’s a crow out there? A CROW!!!”
“Last night I had a dream about a parakeet. I was so scared, April. I was so scared.”
“My name’s April, and I know how to handle an unfavorable turn of events!”
“And I came here for you to DO ME.”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! I’m locked on Memphis. I’M LOCKED!!!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! I’m keeping my eye on him. My vision will be LOCKED! IT’S LOCKED!!!!”
“All yous remembah last week when I had the powaaahh? Now it’s gone, and I wanna crap my undahwears.”
“My name’s Polly, and I know how to handle an aggressive game of monkey-in-the-middle!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! I’ve got Polly in a headlock. IT’S HEADLOCKED!!!”
“Please, April… before I die… just ask Ollie to… DO ME TOO!”
“April, you’re my best friend, and that’s scary to me  especially because you vaguely resemble a seagull.”
“Ollie, you’re like my best friend too, and I’ve always wanted to marry my best friend. So…. no pressure.”
“Now DO ME.”
“Man, being HOH is hard. I gotta put someone on the block. MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! IT’S A BLOCK!!!”
“I could get so many chicks with this bow tie. I’d totally womanize them.”
“I have to wear this ridiculous outfit? SCREW YOU, PEOPLE! HOOoonnnk!!!”
“BLECH! The vile taste of liberalism!”
“I wish we wah in the age of dinosaahhs so a pterodactyl could swoop down and take me away from all yous. Then again, that would probably make me crap my undahwears.”
“I thought this slop would go down easy, but it’s betrayed me. It’s JUDAS SLOP! HOOonnnkk!!!”
“I wanna take this slop into the back room and womanize it.”
“If I have to eat another wicked cricket, I’m gonna crap my undahwears in front of all yous.”
“I’m gonna write down instructions so that Ollie knows exactly how to DO ME.”
“My name’s April, and I know how to sacrifice my morals for a stupid food competition!”
“Sneak preview, Ollie.'”
“Sneak preview, April.”
“Here’s who I think should go up: there’s this hummingbird that sometimes hovers near the pool, and I know it’s up to no good…”
“I wish I knew how to stop being so AMAZINGLY NICE all the time…”
“I wonder if it’s possible to womanize the nomination process…”
“Renny doesn’t know it yet, but I’m totally gonna womanize her turban.”
“So now you promise that when I take out the next key, a bird won’t fly out? Like in that Albert Hitchcock movie?”
“If she puts me on the block, I’m gonna crap my undahweahs. Damn, I shoulda worn my leotahd.”
“My name’s April, and I… and I… and I can HANDLE… being… on… the block. Oh, Ollie DO ME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I BREAK DOWN!!!”
What did you think about this episode? Did Renny put up the right people?