Apologies for having a late Big Brother photocap. CBS.com has been a bit screwy with the screen caps, and while in the past they’ve always had the pics up about an hour after the latest episode airs here in the west, this season, they’ve been a bit unreliable. Plus, after all that waiting, they didn’t even put up any good shots from the Memphis-Jerry fight. Speaking of which, I guess Memphis isn’t so unemotional after all. Something tells me that Jerry’s “womanizer” comment touched a nerve that perhaps informs us a bit about Memphis’s absent-during-childhood dad. Hmmm… How very Prince of Tides.
Nevertheless, I would have liked a bit more clarity on that fight. What was this incident that Jerry referred to where Memphis was disrespectful of him? And where did their rivalry come from? I loved the way Jerry handled himself during that clash, even if he was being quite judgmental. Hey, he’s an old guy. That’s what they do. Memphis probably could’ve used a chill pill. I enjoyed how after the fight Mems warned, “Call me a womanizer again and see what happens!” I really wish Jerry had said “womanizer” again. Would Memphis have punched him? Because that would have been hilarious  a young guy punching an old man. And while I’m still on this topic, why did Memphis act like the this was the first time he’d heard the “womanizer” comment when clearly he had already learned about it earlier? I mean, Memphis brought it up. He really shouldn’t have been so surprised.
Aside from the Battle of MemJer, this episode was remarkable for the desperation of poor Jessie, who gloriously fell into a paranoid haze after being nominated. The idiot tried to convince Keesha to take him off the block by a) saying everything over-dramatically, b) leaning over as if he were doing squats, and c) employing tired cliches and forced metaphors. In other words, it was hilarious. I appreciated his mangling (“toe to head”), his bizarreness (“blow a shockwave through the water”) and his general lack of creativity (“I didn’t come here to make friends,” “It’s a dog eat dog world”). Most of all, I welcomed his new signature metaphor: “I’M IN JAIL!!!” Yes, Jessie, you are in jail  a lifetime prisoner at the California Correctional Facility for IDIOTS. Too bad Keesha is too self-involved to really care about his feelings. When she unnecessarily announced to the house that she had given her word to Libra, I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. I mean, it feels like every episode Keesha has to gather everyone around and proclaim something VERY important about herself (“I’m loyal!” “Don’t talk behind my back!” “I miss my dog!”). ENOUGH.
Anyway, on to the photocap…
“They were factual reasons. They made no sense, but they were factual.”
“It’s Libra’s fault that I’m nominated! She forced me to nominate Steven. Granted, I’m a grown man who can make my own decisions, and granted, she was one among several people who told me to vote out Steven, but… but… I WANT MY JUICE BOX!!!”
“When I get out of here, I’m gonna go to Bennigans every single day for every single meal. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Mmmmhmmmm… It’ll be all Bennigans, all the time. Can’t wait!”
“Memphis doesn’t take off his hat when talking to women. You know why, don’t you? ‘Cause he’s a womanizer.”
“Don’t you see? It’s LIBRA’S FAULT that I wore red today! I was going to wear green, but she made me wear red!!!”
“Don’t you see how serious I am? Every inch of me is serious, from toe to head!”
“Why aren’t you listening to me? I’m bending over completely!!! Isn’t that convincing enough??? I’M IN JAIL!!!”
“My name’s April, and I know how to handle fatigue!”
“Is this what happiness looks like?”
“Is this what happiness looks like?”
“It’s like I’m in flower jail.”
“I’m so gonna do this to April later on.”
“UGH. I hate worms. But I gave them my word. DAMMIT!”
“I don’t know what compost is, but if it’s anything like construction, I’m gonna hate it!!!”
“Hahaha, this is kind of funny. Hahaha. It tickles. Hahahha. It tickles a lot. Hahahahahhaa I’m in TICKLE JAIL!!!”
“This is totally Libra’s fault. And Renny’s too.”
“You guys don’t understand. I was covered toe to head in there for TWENTY FOUR HOURS!”
“Here’s the thing. I don’t even know what happiness feels like.”
“Wait, what is this feeling? It feels sort of nice. And this look on my face? Why is my mouth doing this? WHAT IS IT? SOMEONE HELP ME!!!”
“So it turns out if you pinch April’s titties like this, she giggles like Minnie Mouse.”
“I don’t think you understand. Look at me. This is what happens to me in jail. Got it?”
“Shall I continue whining, or have I made my point? Because I can keep whining if you want. I’d kind of like it, actually.”
“Hey guys. It’s been about six hours since I unnecessarily proclaimed something to house; so I thought I’d give it another whirl. Is everyone ready? Okay good.”
“These chess pieces are so disrespectful to me. They haven’t even said thank you to me for playing with them.”
“I gotta fix my microphone. It’s getting tangled in my undahwears.”
“When I tell them about the bannah, they’re gonna crap their undahwears. What a wicked pissah.”
“I AM NOT A WOMANIZER!! AND I REFUSE TO LET A MILDLY OFFENSIVE (AT BEST) ATTACK ON ME REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT MY TRUE NATURE, ESPECIALLY BY SCREAMING AND GETTING VIOLENT!!!”
“Hoonnnnnk.”
What did you think about the episode? To read a liveblog of it, click here.