Big Brother powered on last night with a relatively low-key episode. I thought we’d see Libra and Jerry fighting after the food competition, but maybe the producers are merely holding that off for Tuesday’s show. In any case, there were still plenty of amusing moments, particularly coming from Jesse, who added new cocky dimensions to his douchiness. The producers must absolutely hate him because it’s obvious they’re giving him a terrible “edit,” as they say, but nevertheless, he really does seem like a jerk. He talks down to people (particularly Angie and Renny), he rolls his eyes, and he says stupid things. All the more fodder for this blog.
Photocap after the jump…
“I’m just saying, Jerry, you gawtta be careful with that military oath because  MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! We’re outta dip!!!”
“Everybody touch Jessie’s penis!”
Michelle: “I’ll tell yous what I want: a big bowl of chowdah. But nothin’ that’s gonna make me crap my undahwears.”
“Jessie’s photos were kind of gross. I like a man with more… cushion. And if possible, I like that cushion to be inside me.”
“If you think my muscles are amazing now  and I know you do  you should have seen them when I took this photo. They were absolutely fantastic. So yeah, you should probably thank me now for telling you about that.”
“It’s funny. You all are always saying I’m just muscle  beautiful, symmetrical, well-proportioned muscle. But I just showed you I’m more than that. I’m a brain, too. Now who knows how to turn that lamp on over there?”
“My name’s April, and I’m not sure I can handle this ego.”
“Hellll no I won’t get out of your HOH bed! This is MINE now.”
“Can I say something real quick? I promise it’ll be short and sweet… and by that, I mean long and boring.”
“Listen, I know you think I’m just all huge, perfectly defined muscle, but I’ve got brains too. I say we nominate the houseplant. This way we ALL get to stay!”
“Wow… Ollie and I are both wearing stripes, and soon we’ll be wearing berets. Tonight we’re gonna DO it like two horny mimes!”
“My name’s April, and I can handle French culture!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH! It’s a food competition! Good thing I dressed like Esther Williams!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH! That’s a lot of woine! What’s goin’ awn heeyah??”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH!! The teams are neck and neck. We’re locked in competition! WE’RE LOCKED!!!
“It’s wicked cold out here. You can see my nipples through my undahwears.”
“SHIT! I left my dog in the back seat of my car!”
“Well, I don’t know what’s up with this motherfuckin’ shit, but we just fuckin’ lost the fuckin’ food competition because of y’all lazy asses.”
“Everyone keeps saying I’m all massive, stunning muscle, but I’ve got brains too. And that’s why I know that this big iPod turns on the TV.”
“Why do I have no emotion? Well, my dad died, and my girlfriend broke my heart. Plus, I’m just amazingly bland.”
“TELL US MORE. WE THRIVE ON HARDSHIP.”
“Well, let’s see. I’ve got a new girlfriend, who I’m totally infatuated with. I love her. I love spending time with her. She’s great. I wish she could be here right now…”
“…and then this one time, we got sushi, and she was like ‘I don’t like salmon’ and so I had to eat the salmon, and it was really funny. Did I ever tell you my story about salmon? Well, this one time…”
“…and I was thinking that salmon aren’t supposed to do that. That’s when I realized it was an old sneaker that I had found. Funny story about old sneakers…”
“…and that’s why I never wear sneakers and ride tricycles. Pretty cool story, huh?”
“I’ll just put it out there: I’m a sidekick without a Master. Please take me! I HAVE NO ONE!!!”
“MARY! ST. JOSEPH! Nominations today!!!”
“I’m gonna have sex with that key box.”
“Jerry, you ah wicked safe.”
“I’ve nominated you, Steven, because you didn’t come up to my HOH room and look at all the awesome pictures of me. So I think we all know who the immature one is now, right Renny?”
What did you think about this episode?