BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: All Praise Renny!

I simply cannot believe we’re only two episodes into Big Brother 10, and it’s already this intense. Has this ever happened? My heart was racing I was so excited with all the twists and turns that took place over this second hour of the season. Renny has quickly jumped to the top of my favorites list — I love her spunk, not to mention the fact that she’s not afraid to mouth off to that little punk Jessie. What a douche he’s rapidly turning into. Well, we knew he was a bitch after the first episode, but man, between his eye rolling at the fairly relevant (if long winded) King Solomon story and his continued whining about being on the block (not to mention the crotch grabbing and general piss-poor attitude), he’s really become quite awful.
The real villain, however, has turned out to be Brian — a snake if there ever was one. Watching him trying to arrogantly mastermind the house has been frustrating at times, but thanks to Libra (also shooting to the top of my list), it looks like his days might (but not necessarily!) be numbered. She’s one smart cookie, and watching her kick into game mode was both exhilarating and scary. She whipped April into shape with the sort of stern authority that might bite her in the ass later on. And speaking of April, her burgeoning showmance with Ollie has already proven to be quite the excellent development. No, not because I care about their late night nookie sessions, but because it yielded the first major conflict of the season. Thanks to his conflicted feelings (bros before hos? Hos before bros? What’s an Ollie to do?), he wound up ratting out his entire alliance, causing a massive power shift in the game.
In short, this episode was thrilling. The only thing more riveting was the ensuing episode of Big Brother After Dark. I won’t give anything away, but let’s just say it involved a cat fight, several variations of the phrase “Fuck that fucking barbie-ass bitch!” and an unfortunate enema misunderstanding.
Big Brother is back!
On to the photocap…

“Do you mind if I just hang out up here a little bit and whine?”

“Michelle, I’m missing Matlock right now, and you people have to figure out how to fix that.”

“Why does King Samuel want to tear a baby in half? And what does that have to do with me? I hate old people. I wish he would stop talking so I could whine.”

“You know, if it weren’t for Renny, I wouldn’t have had to go upstairs and listen to Jerry’s stupid story about Salieri or whatever his name was.”

“Amazing. Not a single person has complimented me on my costume from Soapdish.”

“I hate stairs. I wouldn’t have even had to have walked up and down these stairs if it weren’t for Renny getting me nominated. And she hasn’t even apologized!”

“So, Renny, do you have anything to say? I mean, I’m not going to listen, but if you’d like to say something, by all means say it.”

“I just totally masturbated. But it’s cool. I can confess about it after the show.”

“So wait… What you people are telling me is that I won’t be able to watch Matlock the entire time that I’m here?”

“I’m bored. Maybe if Renny hadn’t put me in this situation, I wouldn’t be bored. She should apologize about that.”

“That’s a pretty crazy hat, Ollie. I mean, not Portuguese crazy. But pretty crazy nonetheless.”

“I’m totally in control of this house. I have a pretty good sense about these things. You know, the same sense that told me to wear this hat that was cool (but not really) three years ago.”

“Memphis, what if I told you I could assure you safety on week eight? Would you be down for that? Because I’m pretty much calling the shots.”

“I never trust a man who doesn’t wear his name in big letters on his shirt.”

“Ollie, I know how to handle men… and this pillow.”

“That’s right. I wouldn’t put you up. But I probably will.”

“My name’s April, and I know how to handle HONEY.”

“What’s goin’ awn heeyah? I’m covah’d in honey! What’s goin’ awn??”

“That honey was so wicked heavy, I wanted to punch it in its wicked kissah.”

“What’s goin’ awn heeyah? I can’t foind my teddy bears. What’s goin’ awn?”

“This is so sticky. I hate this. I wouldn’t even have to be in this stupid competition if it weren’t for Renny. And she hasn’t even apologized yet!”

“It’s very important to me that I don’t intimidate anyone with my physique. So when I tear my shirt off ostentatiously, I’ll only growl a little bit.”

“I am soooo about to do the whatever! – loser! combo on you.”

“Must… destroy… Brian…”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m an idiot. I can handle men, okay?”

“Stop crying before I slap you.”

“Crying? The only ones who’ll be crying are the men — after I HANDLE them!”

“Everyone just calm down. I don’t want to have to poke you with my pointy nipples.”

“Yup. I’m still bland.”

“I don’t like the way that ottoman is looking at me.”

“What did I miss? Did somebody punch someone in the wicked kissah?”

“Let’s see… after I win the Power of Veto in week five, who should I put up?”

“As you people can see, I’m not wearing any military gear today because I wouldn’t want to disgrace the Armed Forces…”

“That’s right, I never ever want to embarrass the military.”

“I don’t understand. The plan was for me to NOT get nominated. Hmmm… I’ll have to tell the producers to undo this.”