With last night’s (slightly dull) reunion special, Top Chef: Chicago came to a triumphant end. I was really hoping for more histrionics and drama in the episode  or at the very least, some hostile barking from Lisa  but we really only got a bunch of montages that weren’t too great. I did, however, enjoy re-watching some of the big fights, and the Lisa montage was great (if not a bit lacking in some of her finer tantrums).
Still, the reunion could have been much better. Andy Cohen practically ignored Nikki, not to mention practically everyone who was eliminated in the first seven episodes. On the plus side, we did get to see Gail Simmons sleeping at the judges table and the unveiling of this season’s t-shirt: “I Have a Culinary Boner.” I must admit for the first time ever a) I would buy the t-shirt, and b) the catchphrase is actually funny (unlike CJ’s dumb line from last season — which I don’t even remember). Also, what was up with the random Zoi (pronounced “Zoey” not “ZOY”) and Jen relationship intrigue. They acted all cagey about their romantic status (translation: broken up) as if the paparazzi were just knocking down their doors at all times. Jen in particular got all red in the face (I assume she was embarrassed, but perhaps she’s an alky. HENCE THE BREAKUP — allegedy).
Anyway, as usual Bravo posted a poor selection of photos on their website; so rather than give you an anemic photocap with only five pics, I decided to also go back and pluck some images from earlier in the season before I started to do the photocaps. Enjoy!
“Tom, remind me to get a few pizzas to go. You know, for Gail.”
“Hello, chefs. Welcome to the famed Pizzeria Uno, home to some of the most famous deep dish pizza on the planet. If you’re feeling particularly hungry, I recommend ordering The Gail.”
“Sadly, due to scheduling conflicts, Gail Simmons won’t be joining us today. So I’m afraid you’ll only have the amateur deep dish experts today!”
“You know, Rocco, you should really meet my friend, Gail. She’s very funny. And she has such a great personality. A real steak and eggs kind of girl.”
“Ugh, another piece. I don’t know how Gail does it.”
“So the thing about Gail is that she’s a little short. But like I said, GREAT personality.”
“Rocco, if you don’t want to eat it, don’t eat it. We’ll just send it to Gail. She won’t complain.”
Padma: “Aw, look at Gail. She got some sauce on her dress. Should we tell her?”
Tom: “Nah. Let’s see how long it takes her to figure it out.”
“Gail, that’s a really pretty outfit. Is it from Sears?”
“Hey Dale, I know you’re cooking and everything, but a congratulations for me getting into my fancy tank top would have been a LITTLE bit nice… Now who the FUCK put this lid in my hand??? SABOTAGE!!!”
Padma: “If anyone would like any bread with their meal, the rolls are over by Gail. We call her the Roll Master. Like in Ghostbusters.”
Gail: “That’s kind of disrespectful to me.”
Padma: “Well, it’s not like we called you GOZER.”
Tom: “That would be funny though also.”
Padma: “It would be… Gozer. HA!”
Ming Tsai: “Or Zuul.”
Padma: “ZUUL! YES! Oh Gail, you know we love you.”
Padma: “Everything’s been just great. I’m absolutely stuffed, but I think Gail wants thirds.”
“Chefs, we have a treat for you today. Gail Simmons has promised to drink this entire selection of beer in less than fifteen minutes.”
Padma: “Gail is going to have the time of her life at this tailgating party. And she looks great in a football jersey!”
“I don’t know, Gail. Maybe I just don’t get wings. Is this the way they always taste? Oh, I’m sorry. You’re still chewing.”
Padma: “I just love the rustic messiness of this food. Which reminds me Gail, yes, I can come to your dinner party.”
Padma: “I don’t know what that is, but if it’s got bacon, Gail’s gonna love it.”
Padma: “Isn’t it adorable how Gail got barbecue sauce all over her face? Bless her heart…”
“Fuck this bowl, and FUCK YOU TOO, RICHARD!”
Antonia: “You should really cook from the heart.”
Lisa: “FUCK YOU!”
“I think I’m gonna barf.”
Lisa: “You know what I say about Quickfire Challenges? FUCK YOU!”
“Who the FUCK lit my food on fire? SABOTAGE!!!”
Antonia: “Today I decided to try something different. I decided to cook from the heart.”
Padma: “Judging by this plate, I’d have to agree. You really are a little bitch, Dale.”
“Hey, kid. Get the FUCK to work!”
Padma: “You don’t happen to have any marijuana on you by any chance?”
Padma: “Gail just loves trying out kiddie menus, don’t you, Gail?”
“C’mon Gail. Finish up that brownie and let’s GO.”
“I think I’m gonna wear a vest at the reunion. Yeah. A vest.”
Lisa: “I know this is Dale’s clip and everything, but a larger box would have been a LITTLE bit nice.”
“Wow, I’m such a little bitch.”
“I bet we’re on every gossip blog right now.”
“Too… many… plantains…”
I didn’t read this post and I haven’t read any of your Top Chef photocaps because it doesn’t start airing in Canada until Tuesday.
Once it starts airing i’ll start going through all of your old photocaps after each episode airs.
If there are any other Canadian readers out there let’s start commenting in the old photocaps after each show so we can discuss the show like it’s new.
Also, to any liberal americans i’ll see you in November if Mccain wins.
How wonderful! I am going to miss Top Chef photocaps like Gail misses Lisa’s Thai soup. B, I hope you’ll be doing them for Project Runway. But first, I’d love to hear your take on the love between Gail and Spike (or was it Andrew? I can’t tell them apart.)
My favorite moment last night was Tom’s revelation that he knew who WOULDN’T be winning Fan Favorite – Lisa. Could he have rubbed that in any more! I backed that part up to re-watch that sullen lout getting called out a few more times.
Jennifer, I agree. Lisa’s bitchy face was priceless when Tom said that.
Great photocap. I’m going to miss all the Gail references. That and sabatoge!
Thanks for the memories.
Yes, the Gail/Andrew love affair is very interesting. I bet Padma finds their nerdy love so adorable and quaint.
Woo hoo! I’m so glad I stumbled across your blog. Love the insight, the humor and the snark!
I’m gonna miss Top Chef – this season, especially. At least for once the right person won it (IMO, of course). The reunion show was a little dull, but had some humorous moments. I’m still not sure we got a good explanation of that bubble bath thing, though.
My question is, who is this Andy character, and why does he host this?
Why does everyone hate Gail so much? I think she seems very sweet.
On a totally unrelated note B-Side, there is a serve yourself (or rather, “pump it yourself” as they call it) yogurt shop opening up in West Hollywood. Hopefully they won’t rival Angelina’s.
No one hates Gail! I love Gail! This is just how I imagine Padma treats Gail.
i loved that Bravo changed the baby Top Chef outfit from a knife to a spoon for Richard’s little girl. As if the knife were in some kind of ‘baby-bad-taste’ thing?!
hb
Indeed, no one hates Gail! Let me tell you, my Autumn ’07 was MADE by a Gail sighting in the neighborhood where they filmed. She was crossing the street — probably from one pizzeria to another as Padma might say — and I knew it was her by that heavy side bang haircut (I don’t watch enough Bravo to know the correct hairstyle name). I’m surprised “The Gail” hasn’t taken off like “The Rachel” did in the ’90s. Anyway, I rode that high until my next Z-list celebrity sighting.
Thanks for the excellent photocaps, B-Side!
“I think I’m gonna wear a vest at the reunion. Yeah. A vest.”
Flippin’ hilarious.
The host was awful. I don’t know why they don’t just let the judges host the reunion like they do on PR.
B-Side? You ARE recapping PR, oui?
B-Side has been nominated for four awards. GO VOTE!
http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com.