“Here’s to the most awkward dinner party of all time!”
Anyone who missed tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City should run, not walk, to their DVR and watch it. I guarantee it will be one of the best hours of 2008. This is what we watch reality television for: unpredictable, awkward, crazy, and jaw-dropping moments. Whether it was Alex and Simon’s pretension at the opera or LuAnn’s haughty behavior in the limo or Jill’s meltdown over seating arrangements or Bethenny’s reaction to bad floors, it was 100% brilliant. But of course, as amazing and funny as most of the episode was, it all paled next to the show’s centerpiece: a dinner party so completely bizarre and awful that we could only thank the reality gods for providing it to us. Yes, it was girls’ night with the housewives, but when Simon crashed the party, Ramona went completely nuts. That alone would have been enough, but oh no. The following treatise on class and etiquette, as seen through the eyes of Ramona, was an instant classic. I’m telling you, this was such a good episode that I’m literally giddy right now. Absolute perfection.
Oh yeah. Here’s a photocap…
“Bawwwbbby! Say hellow to Bethenny!”
“Yo. Hey, you. Yeah, you. You gonna say something ever? Or ya just gonna sit there with your Diet Sprite? HELLOWWW?”
“It’s very important that my face looks good in the photos of my back.”
“Well look at me. I poached ten cheetahs to make my dress!”
“Just another day of battling past the paparazzi…”
“I wonder if the Vanderbilts were asking for us. Oooh, look. There’s Marla Gibbs.”
“But seriously Bethenny, all immigrants and children must refer to me The Honorable Mrs. Countess LuAnn DeLesseps of New Canaan Township, County of Fairfax, Connecticut.”
“François, Johanne — please do not play with your moulle frites and your vichyssoise.
“When you sit symmetrically across from me, it makes me realize how much I love you.”
“You know what? I just want everyone to calm down so I can stand here and make a baby. I mean, salad.”
“I didn’t know I had five fingers!”
“Don’t you just love the upper middle class?”
“Oh and this is what I look like when I get electrocuted. Bzzzzz bzzzz bzzzz!!! Are you watching Bethenny??? Bzzzz bzzzz bzzz. I’ll do it again. Bzzzz–“
“Now this is what you call class, am I right, girls?”
“It’s girls night out! Oh wait, you’re a guy. GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!”
“Should I tawk about Bawwbby? Because I’d like to tawk about Bawwbby. I love Bawwbby.”
“Hey, kids. Who else agrees this place is an absolute DUMP?”
