If there was ever an episode of Big Brother for Sheila fans, Sunday night’s was it. There was so much “SheBot” going on that my TV nearly exploded. It was one glorious moment after another, and oddly enough, some of it was actually quite heartwarming. To be honest, I thought some of the fun of the show might have left when James walked his villainous self out the door, but I’m happy to report that the show is still just as entertaining as ever. Poor Natalie, who I’ve liked for the past several weeks, is now getting the full antagonist treatment, which is not totally unmerited. She started playing both sides of the house too early and too unscrupulously. Oh well. I don’t hate her though.
But enough game talk. Onto the photocap…
“Damn, this is worse than interracial dating.”
“The box had four walls and one ceiling, and four plus one is five, and this is week nine, and nine plus five is fourteen, which is a one and a four, and one plus four is five again, and the first five plus this new five added together is ten, and that’s a one and a zero, and if you add those, you only get one. And there is only one one: JESUS!”
“Yew know wut? If I have to sit through another eviction, I’m gonna BAWL. BAWL!!!!”
“And yew know wut else? The old Sheila would have dropped after tew minutes…”
“…But yew know wut? This is the newww Sheila, babe. KNOW THAT!”
“The good person in me wants to give this to you, Sheila… but the secret-blowjobs-girl in me wants to stay up here. Ack!”
“Man, I’m getting tumors on my hands. Oh, I mean, blisters. I always get them confused.”
“What would Jesus do? He died for our sins, right? So I guess that means I should do something sacrificial. Okay, Sheila. Sacrifice yourself!”
“GOOOOOD LORD!!!! I could beep boop all night about her!”
“What do I do? What do I do? The Christian in me is gonna do a lot of great things with that money. You know, like treating my family to dinner at Sizzler.”
“Well, if I drop now, I should be okay, especially since no one who’s ever placed second in an endurance competition has ever been screwed over before. Here goes nothing!”
“Yew know wut? Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe it to me to pretend like I wun this without everyone pity, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yew know wut, Rye-Bread? If I’d have fallen, I would have died. Died inside! DIED!!”
“Yew know wut, CBS? Yew don’t owe me some emergency dental surgery, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yes, Natalie. Everything’s fine. It’s like what I said yesterday: ‘Gabababgabbabgaaa.'”
“Yew know wut, CBS? Yew don’t owe me more ’80s glamour shots, but ya kinda dew!”
“Okay, is everyone ready? I’m gonna start. ‘Dear Mom…'”
“‘Dear Mom?’ Yew know wut? That’s just bew-tiful. Yew don’t owe me a tishew, Natalie, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yew know wut? If I read any more of this letter out loud, I’m gonna BAWL. BAWL!!!”
“Yew know wut? It made me feel really good to read a letter from Mick. But that might be just because I’M FORTY-FIVE YEARS OLD! KNOW THAT!!!”
“Yew know wut, babe? Yew don’t owe me a reciprocal massage, but ya kinda dew.”
“Dew yew really see the innocent little girl deep down inside of me? Dew yew? Dew yew?? BECAUSE SHE’S FORTY FIVE YEARS OLD. KNOW THAT!!!”
“Yew know wut? Natalie can scheme all she wants, owwkay babe, but yew know wut? If she stays in this house a minute longer, I would die. Die inside. DIE!!!”
“Yew see this? It’s the NEW Sheila. And she’s FORTY FIVE YEARS OLD!!! KNOW THAT!”
“The white wine is for me. The red’s for Jesus… but I’ll probably just drink both.”
“Yew know wut? If God could make some strange genetic hybrid of Dr. Will and Evel Dick, I’d just get down on my knees and say thank yew! THANK YEW!!!”
“Evel Dick? Really? The guy with the Mom Jeans? I thought I was supposed to be the crazy one.”
“Okay, so here’s the thing, bro. Apparently, people shave their beards in such a way that the hair follows along the jaw line. I NEVER KNEW THAT!!!”
“Yew know wut, Natalie? The innocent little girl inside of me is THIS big. KNOW THAT.”
“I just came up here because I match the walls. Oh, and Jesus says hi.”
“Yew know wut? If yew want to come in, yew don’t owe me the secret password, but ya kinda dew.”
“Yew know wut? This nomination process is too confiscated.”
“Yew know wut? The old Sheila would walk to the cupboard, but the NEW Sheila is gonna walk to the bed.”
“Whenever I pull a key out, I pretend it’s Matty’s junk.”
“Hahaha beep boop beep haha!”
“GOOD LORD!!! Here we go again. As usual, I’ll just lay low and be quiet. (beep boop).”
Yew know wut CBS? Yew don’t owe me vaneers for my birthday…but yew kinda dew.
Yew know wut B-Side? Yew don’t need to go back and Photocap every episode for our enjoyment, but ya kinda dew. If yew don’t, I will Die inside, DIE!!! KNOW THAT!! Thank Yew
I loved how touching and heartfelt Mick’s letter to Sheila was: “Hi Mom. I walked the dog. Yeah, well, bye.”
I LOVE my B-Side photo recaps!
Does anyone else think that the “glamour shot” of Sheila bears an uncanny resemblance to Valerie Bertinelli during her One Day At A Time stint?
I laughed when Ryan had to point out that Shelia’s spawn had pierced ears. Way to notice Mom!
And Hicks – yes, the “memo” that her son sent her. Feel the love?
hb
Heh, heh – BB photo recaps rule!!!!
I think Natalie screwed up by letting Big Sheila win though. Natalie might be playing for JC, but Sheila’s playing for MICK!
BTW – has anyone else noticed how the whole Holy-Roller culture has infested reality TV? It’s really irritating, especially since those born-again types usually turn out to be the most amoral, self-promoting assholes on the planet – AND they make us listen to their Jesus-drivel. GOOOOD LORRRRD!
Also, Adam is weird looking, he looks like a Wallace and Grommet clay-mate.
Math according to Nat:
“The box had four walls and one ceiling, and four plus one is five, and this is week nine, and nine plus five is fourteen, which is a one and a four, and one plus four is five again, and the first five plus this new five added together is ten, and that’s a one and a zero, and if you add those, you only get one. And there is only one one: JESUS!”
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.!!!
I lovethe BB photcaps!
Math according to Nat:
“The box had four walls and one ceiling, and four plus one is five, and this is week nine, and nine plus five is fourteen, which is a one and a four, and one plus four is five again, and the first five plus this new five added together is ten, and that’s a one and a zero, and if you add those, you only get one. And there is only one one: JESUS!”
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.!!!
I love the BB photcaps!
Hey B-Side (or anyone else in the know):
Has it ever been explained why BB started allowing a Bible in the house? In early seasons (and in the UK version, I believe), there was expressly NO reading material at all. The rise of the sanctimonious has corresponded with the presence of the in-house bible.
It seems like things could be more interesting if they gave them “Crime and Punishment” instead.
I love your sense of humor B-side, it’s so snarky like my own.
I’ll really miss these photo blogs when the show is over but will look forward eagerly to BB10 and hope you do this again.
My face still hurts from laughing so hard. Keep up the good work and thanks for doing this.
/ seeley
I will right away clutch your rss feed as I can’t to find your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me realize so that I could subscribe. Thanks.