I nearly fainted when I saw that Big Brother had been preempted in New York for forty uninterrupted minutes of the Pope getting on an airplane, but luckily, CBS.com proved to be my friend again. I watched the episode online, and voila, here’s the photocap!
“Yew know wut? Yew threw me under the frickin bus! But that’s fine. That’s fine. (KNOW THAT!)
“Yew know wut? The old Sheila would have wrapped herself in a yellow towel. The new Sheila uses blewww.”
“GOOOD LORD! I can’t believe I’m still here! Now I can go feed my BEEEBIEEES!!! BEEP BOOP BEEP!!!”
“Bro, I don’t know if I believe your bro-lies.”
“GOOOOD LORD!!! I knooooowww it’s not me who’s related to anyone. I’ll BEEP to that!”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me a DNA test, but ya kinda dew!”
“Yew know wut, Rye-Bread? If I’d have found out you were my nephewww, I would have died. Died inside. DIED!”
“‘Dear Ryan, I can’t wait to see you again. I love you with all my heart. I’m not Jen without my Ryan. I love you so much it hurts. Also, I called you a racist behind your back. Can’t wait for finale night! Love, Jen.'”
“Yew know wut, CBS? Yew don’t owe me a letter from Jen also, but ya kinda dew!”
“I’m gonna get laid on finale night, bro!”
“WEEEEEE!!! LETTER FROM HOME!!!! BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!”
“Yew know wut, Adam? I’m not a frickin robot. KNOW THAT!”
“Bro, I’m totally gonna wet my bro-pants.”
“Yew know wut? I actually am a robot, owkay? KNOW THAT SECRETLY!!!”
“I never said ‘I voted for you.’ I said ‘I voted for ewes.’ Big difference, dude. Baller loves the sheep!”
“Okay, bro. I believe you.”
“Everyone gather ’round. I’m gonna explain why I shave my beard at such a strange angle.”
“Yew know wut, 20th Century Fox? I loved that trailer. Thank yew! THANK YEW!”
“Yew know wut? I’m a big movie fan: I have a Blockbuster card, I’ve been to movie theaters, I have a Bette Midler t-shirt that says ‘Beaches.’ So yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me this prize, but ya kinda dew!!!”
“Yew know wut? If I could go to the movie premiere, I would die. Die inside. DIE!!!”
“Yew know wut? I think I smashed those wine bottles pretty well considering I’m FORTY FRICKIN SIX!! KNOW THAT!!!!”
“GOOD LORD!! WE WON!!!! BEEEEP BOOOP BEEEP BEEEP BEEP!!!”
“Yew know wut? I don’t need to see a movie. I can watch these Pringles all night long instead. KNOW THAT!!!”
“GOOD LORD! Jacob would love this movie! And so would my fur-RRRIENDS!!! WEEEEE!!!! BEEP BOOP BEEP!!!”
“Yew know what, Rye-Bread? Adam think I’m a robot, but I’m not. Would a robot still be functioning after FORTY FRICKIN SIX YEARS? I DON’T THINK SOWWWWE!!!”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me safety, but ya kinda dew!”
“Welcome to the nomination ceremony. Today, I have to nominate two bros for bro-viction.”
“Gabba gabba gabba.”
“Yew know wut? I never should have trusted Ryan. I’m a frickin idiot.”
“Yew know wut? Not only am I on the block, but now Adam and I are shackled. Shackled together. SHACKLED!!!”
