It’s Sunday, which means CBS just aired another delightful installment of Big Brother. The nomination episodes are usually the most low key of the week, but that’s okay because they give us a chance to enjoy the dumb things our merry captives do to keep themselves busy — you know, like playing hide and seek, stirring up middling whirlpools, staring at photos psychotically. Typical stuff, really.
However, the shortage of activities in the compound doesn’t mean there’s a dearth of fun pictures from CBS. The latest photocap after the jump…
“It’s kind of funny to think that James had sex with THAT trainwreck.”
“I’m not in grayscale. I’m in TROUBLESCALE!”
“I don’t give a damn if you think I’m not inspirational because let me tell you something, all those CUNTS who voted for Natalie don’t know what inspiration is. So FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING SLUT WHORES!”
“I think I just made Big Brother history: I didn’t win Head of Household. I don’t think you’re even appreciating this situation. I was competing, and I didn’t win! WHO ELSE HAS EVER HAD THAT HAPPEN???”
“We should totally call ourselves Team Christ. Jesus had sex in bathrooms ‘n stuff, right?”
“You know how many consonants are in ‘Team Christ’? SEVEN.”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me a better team name, but ya kinda dew.”
“And here’s the kicker: you know how many numbers come before eight? SEVEN!”
“I’m doughy.”
“Hey Josh, are you impressed with how crazy I am right now?”
“It’s important that whenever I sit down anywhere in the house that I fold myself up completely. EVERY SINGLE TIME.”
“Chelsia, help be draw strength from your blood clot robe.”
“Natalie, I don’t think you realize what I’ve gone through. I’ve had to break my word to you twice. Twice, dude. No one understands what that felt like for me!”
“Guys, I’m gonna cry. My daddy says that a new Applebees just opened up. And they’re giving away free popcorn shrimp and quesadilla towers…”
“Yew know wut, Big Brother? Yew don’t owe me a quesadilla tower, but ya kinda dew!”
“I just realized: ‘letter’ has six letters in it. But since I have two eyes, it’s like I’m looking at two different letters. And you know how many letters are in ‘letters’? SEVEN!”
“I was hiding under the sink, or as I like to call it, the Jesus fountain.”
“Yew know wut, Josh? Yur parents sound really great. Except for all the bitter rage they’ve instilled in yew, but yew know wut? That’s owkay.”
“Yeah, they were great parents, but that should be no surprise because I’M THE BEST.”
“Yew know wut? I think my son is gay.”
“Sometimes I put my microphone pack on my hip. I’M THAT CRAZY.”
“I’m pretending I’m with Matty.”
“We call this food competition ‘THE MOST CONFUSING EVER.'”
“Oh. My. God. This is just like Kansas. There’s straw, watermelons, and even some of my FURRIEENNDDSS!!!! WEEEEEE BEEEBEEE BOOOBEEEBOPPPPBEEEE!!!!”
“Yew know wut? Yew don’t owe me a food competition that makes sense, but ya kinda dew.”
“FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WATERMELON CUNT BITCH WHORE!!!”
It’s the new American Idol set!
“Hey guys, I shrank! Can you pull me out of the flower bed?”
“I know I said Matt was pathetic when he cried, but now that I’ve cried, I’ve come to realize that hey, it’s not pathetic… WHEN IT’S ME.”
“Gabadddaabbgeagga LET’S GET ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS GOING IN A CIRCLE gabagabagalabbagabba!!!”
“Hey Adam… I think the duck’s chasing us. Swim faster. FASTER, BRO!!! IT’S CLOSING IN!!!”
“Sorry guys, I can’t join. ‘Whirlpool’ has nine letters in it.”
“My arm is so toned — in a doughy sort of way.”
“Yew know wut? If yew’d have nominated me, I would have died. Died inside. DIED!!!”
“Yeah, it’s totally cool. I’m not upset at you at all for nominating me. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I’m going to flip out in a self-pitying rage or anything like that.”
